How Dumb AM I??

     So this morning, I go out and feed the hogs. I have a boar living with 4
sows, and one of them is due at any time.  She was there for the morning
feeding, so I figured it wouldn't be til tomorrow, since usually the sows will
go off their feed the day of, at least that's been my experience so far...

Wrong.

     I went out to feed at 7 tonight, I like to wait until the majority of the
damn kamikazi face fly/knat things have gone for the night (besides, it's cool
to get buzzed by the bats as they come down to my aid in pursuit of dinner).
So I only see 4 hogs...and one tiny baby piglet...who's in immediate danger
of being trampled by the others as they jockey for position around the feeding area. So I hurry up and dump their food in their bowls, then throw a handful of hay in the bucket, then the piglet, then another handful of hay on top so he shuts up, and start on a game of hoggy-go-seek.
     After a while, after walking all over the lower pasture, which is a
combination of grand firs and deep woods, surrounded by a perimeter of pasture and log piles, and getting spider webbed in the face, scratched by tree branches I can no longer make out, thinking every stump is a hog waiting to pounce...it dawns on me that I am playing a very DANGEROUS game. I realize that I am outside, without my cell phone, without a flashlight, and without anyone knowing where I am, all the while it is getting darker and darker.
     So just to prove to y'all that I am NOT as dumb as I look, I stopped, and
enlisted the help of my son and a couple of flashlights (cell phones and a 22,
even).
    Eventually we were successful in our game, and returned the lost player to his mom, who apparently didn't even know he was missing. He joined the other seven piglets all cuddled in their nest, and mom got a half bucket of pellets as a reward for not being a poor sport.
     Funny thing is, I had walked right past them earlier. I probably couldn't
hear her snoring over the dogs rustling through the grass, since they had
accompanied me, braving the hot fence even, for all the help they gave me. But I bet they WOULD have helped me, if the sow had greeted us in a different manner than her normal sweet self.
     Anyway, I'm glad it all worked out ok, I don't have to bottle feed a piglet
tonight, I still have all my limbs intact, and Clementine is snoring, blissfully
unaware of the excitement caused by pasture farrowing.